→ June 23, 2023
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
talyssa rated it ★★★(3)
tldr; 😮💨
I’ll start by saying that it’s an objectively good book. The story telling is good and the prose is genuine.
But… I guess I expected more?
I’ve got a dead parent of my own. I know the route Michelle mapped out in the book and her account of grief felt familiar despite it being accessorized with her own sub-plot around identity and cultural reclamation. But the “bad relationship that was kind of getting good right before the end” was so familiar, it felt redundant to me. I see a lot of sub-average reviews that call this narrative out for feeling *too* much like a personal therapy session… a journal entry that should’ve never been published. My issue is the exact opposite; it felt like we only saw the parts of her story that are *easy* to publish and appeal to a big audience. Unfortunately, that brings me into the politics of publishing and writing and PR and for someone who’s already in the public gaze, I’d imagine that this is her way of putting out a good enough story while also “keeping the 10% of herself” or however the quote goes. But I think there was space for more. I think it could’ve benefitted from ends left untied and moments that didn’t fit conveniently into an analogy recalled from childhood— grief is always so elegant in hindsight and anyone who’s found solace in it can probably attest to that. You wake up one day to this overwhelming clarity that the psychoanalyst in you uses to bridge all these gaps and once it’s all built up, you step back and think the job is done. Michelle was just the one to publish it.
The book ends right when things really get going— I wish it leaned in. Observing the continuity of life, figuring out an identity that prioritizes your presence over the absence of another, the butterfly effect of death and the guilt you have to cope with in order to accept the opportunities you found… that’s the dead parent memoir I have yet to read. The one about life going on (and learning how to accept it). Crying in H Mart felt like the dead parent memoir for those who haven’t had to lose one yet— a crash course, an intro. Maybe one day, an author will choose to step up and write about all the weird stuff that succeeds loss… and people can get on here to criticize its incompleteness.
→ June 23, 2023
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
talyssa rated it ★★★★(4)
tldr; 🫠
spoilers !
I took off a star because I don't know if Raskolnikov deserves the redemption of the epilogue-- not that abruptly, anyway. Crime & Punishment gets a lot of praise for being a quintessential psychological study of morality... suffering... spirituality... consequence... etc. etc. and I actually enjoyed how horribly prideful Raskolnikov stayed to the very end. So, when he folded into Sonya's lap, weeping in surrender on the second to last page of the novel, I was disappointed (am I messed up for that?). After the all time we'd spent dwelling in the pitiful corners of Raskolnikov's psyche, we part on the note of a happily ever after (it was beautifully put, but I am still dissatisfied). He is redeemed! but without repentance.
I was going to wrap this up but I'm writing this and I'm thinking more objectively about "crime" and (especially) "punishment" and maybe Raskolnikov's hasty resolve is justified by irony. Maybe prolonged suffering is closer to what I expected for him... and maybe that puts me right into the trap of Dostoevsky. Does Raskolnikov deserve to be penalized for being an axe-murder (x2)? Yes, very much so. Does he deserve to suffer for it? Well, not at the hands of someone else. Is it righteous to create suffering? Is it possible to uphold your own morality while inflicting suffering on someone for lack thereof? At what point did we begin to punish with suffering, and what right do we have to call it just? I'll have to spend more time ruminating on this one.
→ June 23, 2023
New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
talyssa rated it ★★★★★(5)
tldr; 🙏🥀🖤
This was a work of art... quite easily the best book of the saga. The entire emotional spectrum of a teen girl was captured in a mere 536 pages. Thank you Stephenie <3
→ June 23, 2023
Babel, or The Necessity of Violence by R.F. Kuang
talyssa rated it ★★★★★(5)
tldr; 🧍♀️😵🫠
I don't want to elaborate too much. Everyone deserves to experience this on their own. Whatever this book makes you feel is going to be a reflection of what you understand and believe.
Two quotes, just for the record:
"Betrayal. Translation means doing violence upon the original, means warping and distorting it for foreign, unintended eyes. So then where does that leave us? How can we conclude except by acknowledging that an act of translation is then necessarily always an act of betrayal?"
"That's just what translation is, I think. That's all speaking is. Listening to the other and trying to see past your own biases to glimpse what they're trying to say. Showing yourself to the world, and hoping someone else understands."